Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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