It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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