So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Shame - the story of my life.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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