I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
