First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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