it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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