hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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