Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize