seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
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YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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