I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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