Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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