I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
