I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
