You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
