do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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