I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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