Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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