i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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