My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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