Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
