I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
