exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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