I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
