Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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