It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All the doctor said was why
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
