i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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