So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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