i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
