If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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