Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
A bitchslap is in order.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
