Soap is not a condiment
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
