Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
