I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
