You made me cry and you don't even care
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize