its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
