yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
