New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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