I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
