So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
