You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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