Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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