I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
