Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
