just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
