Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
