3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
