Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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