just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
