Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
this will be a night to untag.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
