I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
