Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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