Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
