It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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