He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
