i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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