i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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