just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
