im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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