YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
