Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
