we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
