I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize